that it’s not necessarily him that you miss, it’s everything that being with him was about. It’s about missing caring for someone and having that feeling returned, it’s about being able to be 100% yourself, completely unstable, vulnerable and knowing that you will still be accepted.

it’s about having a shoulder to cry on, about someone who will comfort you. it’s about not needing to keep secrets. it’s about trust.  it’s about generosity and forgiveness.

it’s not that i miss him, it’s that i miss everything he made me feel, safe, calm, happy, confident, caring and wanted. and now without him, i feel thrusted into the world losing the one thing i thought would always be there.

i’m not sad because he was the love of my life. i’m sad because i loved him, loved him as a person, as a friend, and now he’s gone, as if i never needed him at all, or rather, like he never needed me. 

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